I had met someone last year on Native American Passions.....

[warriormaiden01 (deleted)]

Hi,

I had met someone on Native American Passions in 2007 We had been talking for almost 2 yrs. He was from Milan, Italy and came to the United States to visit me for 2 weeks. At first he wanted me to delete my profile (not his) He said he wanted to stay on NAP for getting information on Native Americans..because he liked the culture. I see now that he deleted his profile...but we had agreed on being just friends..(nothing more) Sometimes I think he deleted his profile and made a new one... He still doesn't want me talking to anyone else. (only him) If we are "just" friends, why deny me the opportunity to meet someone? Have any comments on this? : [/b]

[rebelyell08_PREV (deleted)]

`It really dosen't make sense to me in the least to want you to delete your profile and not his..it should be a mutual thing I think. And ESPECIALLY if you all are only friends.(?).I would never expect a friend to delete. Why?? And there's no other way to find out about Native culture without being on a dating site? whatever.

[blackfootedgirl]

`Tell your friend to make Google his best friend, there is a wealth of knowledge on the Native American Culture both past and present with out temptations.
I don't get the request of you not talking to others only him if it is only a friendship?? Is that to keep you in the dark?
It is only men or both men and women he wants you to not speak to?
Are you still in contact with him even though his account is deleted, what is your gut feeling, really, you know that feeling that bugs you and you tell yourself it is imagined. Maybe he wants you there if something else does not work out. It is only a speculation, not meant to upset you.

[rosesandwine2_PREV (deleted)]

`oh, boy, here I am again reading these posts and wondering about my decision. So far, it has been fun reading the posts and informative. But, what if I meet someone here and he ends up lying to me about his contacts/friends ...you know, the "cyber-cheating". How can a person truly know if they are being cheated on when on a site like this?

[rebelyell08_PREV (deleted)]

`You don't.

Don't psych yourself out though!! Actually there are some nice, fun people here.

[warriormaiden01 (deleted)]

[quote="blackfootedgirl"]`Tell your friend to make Google his best friend, there is a wealth of knowledge on the Native American Culture both past and present with out temptations.
I don't get the request of you not talking to others only him if it is only a friendship?? Is that to keep you in the dark?
It is only men or both men and women he wants you to not speak to?
Are you still in contact with him even though his account is deleted, what is your gut feeling, really, you know that feeling that bugs you and you tell yourself it is imagined. Maybe he wants you there if something else does not work out. It is only a speculation, not meant to upset you.

He didn't want me to talk to other guys.. I caught him lying to me on here anyway. He said he wanted to talk to females about their culture (not guys)...and said nothing else..But I had a friend on here (a female) that was talking to this very young girl (18 yrs old...also on this site) I guess this girl told my friend that she only talked to "one" guy on here..(and it was the same one I was talking to) I confronted him about it, and he told me that was not true! I wrote this girl and she told me herself that she was talking to him...After this happened I wondered why he was saying this to me..He told me that we should both agree on not talking to others..But he still wants me to talk "ONLY" to him. (no talking or writing to other guys) I don't know about this??? Why was he talking and writing to others, and I couldn't?? That is what bothers me. Don't know what he wants???

[blackfootedgirl]

To rosesandwine,`You don't, Even in real life the one being cheated on is always the last to know, or we may have figured it out but are trying our darndest to tell ourselves otherwise, we can't be with a person 24/7 , or maybe the person is true blue but because of our own past issues we have placed doubts in our minds with out just cause from the other persons actions. Cyber dating is like a long distance romance in a way we don't know what a person is up to in our absence but we expect the best of that person. Cyber dating and real life have many similarities.
Isn't the ultimate goal for some is to find a person to spend time with physically ,perhaps make it a solid relationship, rent the uhaul ,that sort of thing?

[warriormaiden01 (deleted)]

`I had deleted my profile twice because of this and didn't want him to keep bugging me about talking or writing to other male friends. I didn't post my pic also when I came back..but the third time I joined, I decided to post my pics (because we were just friends anyway....or so I thought) He then decided to come to the United States and after he went back to Milan, I seen he deleted his profile. He told me he didn't trust these sites and still tells me I can have female friends (here in the US) but don't like me to have male friends...He said it would get him upset if I had a male friend....that I "only" need to have him as a male friend.....He is saving money to come back to the US to visit again.....

[blackfootedgirl]

`To warriormaiden01, it could be that machchismo attitude if men of his culture, Italy did you say? You did catch him lying once. That would get my mind churning not only about issues about online dating/friendships but what he does in real life and does not tell you about. What does your gut feeling tell you to do? It may hurt to come clean with your feelings and you may not want to put it out there for all to see, so you have my respect in advance if that is the case.

[rebelyell08_PREV (deleted)]

`Warriormaiden01..this seems like an awful lot of stuff going on between two people who are "just friends". (?) No judgement here. I have always had male friends..that wouldn't be tolerated on either side for a second (ultimatums and such) they may warn me about a guy from time to time..other than that--whats the claim, ya know?

maybe I believe true friendship or love dosen't breed confusion?

[warriormaiden01 (deleted)]

blackfootedgirl wrote: `To warriormaiden01, it could be that machchismo attitude if men of his culture, Italy did you say? You did catch him lying once. That would get my mind churning not only about issues about online dating/friendships but what he does in real life and does not tell you about. What does your gut feeling tell you to do? It may hurt to come clean with your feelings and you may not want to put it out there for all to see, so you have my respect in advance if that is the case.



Well, I really liked him very much! He does tell me what he does and who he is talking with,,,(but tells me it is only about native things,,but ended up giving the girl advice about her personal issues she was having. He then gave this young 18 yr old girl his e-mail address and they were writing to each other through personal e-mails. Who knows what they had been talking about (not Native I'm sure) He would always ask me about the Native guys I talk to on the site and didn't like me doing that....Okay! What am I suppose to do??? Let him do what he wants and not me????

[warriormaiden01 (deleted)]

blackfootedgirl wrote: `To warriormaiden01, it could be that machchismo attitude if men of his culture, Italy did you say? You did catch him lying once. That would get my mind churning not only about issues about online dating/friendships but what he does in real life and does not tell you about. What does your gut feeling tell you to do? It may hurt to come clean with your feelings and you may not want to put it out there for all to see, so you have my respect in advance if that is the case.



Well, I know he is a very reserved person. He has never been married, no children, living alone..His Aunt cooks for him and does everything for him while he is at work! My gut feeling is that I think he wants me "only" to himself ...........and I have NO idea what he is doing during his lunch time (I know he goes with his co-workers (both female and male) He could be taking a female to lunch and not saying anything about it! Also, he rides the train to work..(about an hr ride) Who knows who he could meet at the train station. Could be giving females his phone number and has said to me that he is going with a friend or go visit a friend for 3 or 4 hrs.... Who is the friend????? Female???? Male?????? Sometimes I think he is beating around the bush.......saying he is going with a male friend..(but he always turns his cell phone off when I try to call him) I think he doesn't want to get disturbed if he is with a female. i am beginning to see a pattern..(just like my ex's use to do) I am looking for someone who doesn't play mind games and knows what they want in a woman. Maybe the guy from Italy is not for me! Any comments??

[straighteyes (deleted)]

`hello warriormaiden01, hope that I am allowed to talk to you..if this is a private space I don´t want to bother you. But as an european and as a women who had her own experiences on NAP with some guys before, I thought I might be allowed to say something. Italien men, spanish men, all south europeans are machos, the biggest one you can find in europe. And in parts of this countries the life of a women is not worth a dime. In some parts women got still punished by the whole village when acting "dishonorably". I don´t have to tell you that the rules are men rules. I just want to say: take your legs and run as fast as you can..there will never be a life for you that you might enjoy. And on the other hand, you found out that he is not trustworthy. A friend would never ask for things he did . And a partner who really loves you either. I think you should take good care for yourself protect your life and soul and send him into the desert.
straighteyes

[rosesandwine2_PREV (deleted)]

`I agree with straighteyes. I think you know what you "gut" is telling you; so, listen to it. Sometimes we hear that inner voice and choose to ignore it. We may think that we are just being too sensitive or that maybe it is not as bad as we think....but, we should always listen to our inner voice!!! Our inner voice speaks volumes even if we just hear a whisper.

[blackfootedgirl]

`To: wariermaiden01: (but he always turns his cell phone off when I try to call him), that says a lot right there.

" I had met someone on Native American Passions in 2007 We had been talking for almost 2 yrs. He was from Milan, Italy and came to the United States to visit me for 2 weeks. At first he wanted me to delete my profile (not his) He said he wanted to stay on NAP for getting information on Native Americans..because he liked the culture. I see now that he deleted his profile...but we had agreed on being just friends..(nothing more) Sometimes I think he deleted his profile and made a new one... He still doesn't want me talking to anyone else. (only him) If we are "just" friends, why deny me the opportunity to meet someone? Have any comments on this?"

If you agreed on being "just Friends" then the thing that should be the issue is honesty, not whether he is seeing others. He should not have any right to ask you to delete your account nor you to him. If "just friends" as agreed you both should be able to see others, talk to others, but not lie about it. But as "just friends" he may feel that some parts of his personal life is not your business, then out of fairness to you your personal life should be your private business too.
You said he is saving money to come visit you again? Perhaps he need to Sh*t or get off the pot, there might be feelings he has for you that he needs to come to grip with, and he is trying to keep you on the ready. How old is he?? ...and his Aunt does everything for him??
straighteyes is on the mark about the MACHO style in these men from certain ethnic backgrounds, if they can't have you then no one can and they transfer that over into their friendships with some female friends.
Put him on task and go with your gut feeling.